I see some positives and negatives in here and the criticism is quite good feedback.
Key Messages:
- My writing is really strong and she is open to considering me for future projects.
- The twist regarding the pregnancy is good. Need to fix the warm maternal feelings that came too soon for the reader.
- Story is weighed down by unnecessary over explaining to the reader.
- The 1st 60 pgs needs external conflict to push the novel along.
Not bad.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hi Bobbie,
I had a chance to read your novel. Thanks for your patience while I
reviewed.
The writing is really strong, which is why I wanted to give it good
consideration. However, the story felt weighed down by things like
repetition to make sure the reader gets things.¹ I like that you tried
to put a twist on things with the pregnancy, however it was confusing for
the reader when she was having warm maternal feelings even though she was
raped. The first 60 pages were a lot of internal conflict, but no external
conflict which we need to push a novel along.
Best wishes with this book. If you don¹t end up finding an agent with this
one please keep me in mind for future projects.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
No comments:
Post a Comment